Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize