The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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