As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
