Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
