You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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