I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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