wat bout pragnant strippers??
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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