He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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