try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize