A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
