think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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