he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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