whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
