i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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