walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
