if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
