Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
