That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
