My friends, they love my intelligence
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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