i permit you to call me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
