I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
