so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
