she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
