Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
