Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
