what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
