I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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