she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
