Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
