At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
