im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
