dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
