i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
