gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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