margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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