You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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