i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
