Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
