If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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