U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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