I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
