im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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