So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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