We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
