You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize