Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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