I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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