I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
