Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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