apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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