Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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