This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
