dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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