the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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