He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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