Fine. I'll sleep in my office
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
