we're chasing vodka with high fives
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
