I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
