just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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