try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize