ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
