their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize