i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
