my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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