Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
